Back Home in Agony & Distress

After a patient full and long wait in Bangalore I was unable to get into a company which promised better package and growth opportunities. I guess I had to pay off, I was a chooser and had turned down a lot of offers in the past few months. So I guess it was the time I had to beat the dust, making things clear and to know where I really belonged. I had appeared before a couple of big hotshot companies and they did turned me down. And this was the first time my ego got hurt. I thought I could clear out every hurdle of my way but then all of a sudden I started questioning whether my basics were right. Two quick dis approvals was very bitter to digest. I could not find whom to blame and was deeply frustrated and tensed. My parents had called me up and told me to return home. I knew that if I would return home without a proper offer my entire venture of coming down to Bangalore would go down the drain. I needed a find some opportunities and that to fast. I went on registering on various job sites and looked upon various opportunities but I could not find any one. The day of departure was closing by and I could hear the ticking of the time bomb in my mind.

But then it was too late. I tried a few options but all went in vain. I could not accept the failure but then it was the truth that I had to face. I cursed myself for being so choosy, I even fought with GOD and pleaded him to show some mercy on me. But I think GOD had already provided me ample chances and I as an idiot had turned all of them down. So it was I guess a pay back time. Truly speaking I wasn't ready for this, not even in my dreams. My friends tried to console me but it felt good as long as they were near by. As they parted the agony and pain would again rise up inside me more vigorously. I cried a lot but then there was no one to listen and moreover no one was concerned about that. All my dreams and aspirations seemed sinking and with them I sank in the ocean of shame and disgust. It was not because I failed to cleared but was more because I had put my parents money in vain.

I had made my final decision that I had to return back home as there was nothing much left for me to try. I boarded the train early in the morning from Yeshwantpur railway station. As the train passed by Whitefield, K.R.Puram and other close by stations my mind went back in time and remembered the first day I had came to Bangalore. There was a contrasting difference in my attitude in both the times. I cuddled into my side lower seat of the second class compartment, covered my eyes with hand, sobbed a little and eventually dozed of.
I woke up after an hour or such and looked outside. I could see the beautiful mountains and coconut trees. I tried to keep my mind distracted to avoid the depression growing within me. And then a strange thing happened. A boy who seemed similar to my age came near my berth and asked me to make some room for him as his seat was occupied by a group of family members who made the entire compartment seem smaller. I  composed myself and allowed him to share my seat. He asked me about my journey. I told him I was returning from Bangalore and was going home after a hectic job search. He too mentioned the same cause but then he told that he was a 3rd year Computer Science Engineering student from BIT Mesra. He had came to Bangalore to sit for an interview for Oracle, a company which we 3-tier colleges dream of. He told that he was ill when the company made the campus visit. After getting well he had mailed the company and asked permission to sit for an interview. The company had called up the guy and had made arrangements of an onsite interview at the company premises. I was shocked to hear this. A company calling up a single guy for an onsite interview!! Wow!!

This really pushed me back into greater depths of depression. I imagined that we 3-tier college students don't have the authority to get into good companies as freshers. We have to have the green card from prestigious institutions such as IITs, NITs or BITs. I thought if I had put in a greater effort at the time of entrance examinations, it would have been a different ball game by know. But then I realized that how hard it was to get admission into the college where I had studied. Burning midnight lamps is not the only solution, one has to have the vision and direction to achieve something in life and that is the thing which I always lacked in my life. I tried to console myself my jotting down my achievements against my failures. But then every time I felt that my failures were at par than my achievements.

I wished I had a golden luck like my friends, but then I was not born and fed with a silver spoon. I had always had a tough time in achieving everything. For me hard work has always been my substitute for luck, but then it does not always pay you back. Sometimes you fail because people out there are more hard working and intelligent than you. Life taught me yet another failure and I have to get up and start going..........

Just Hatched Out Of an Egg!!!

College was cool and everything seemed to be achievable. I was living in a nutshell and I considered it to be my world where nothing was impossible. But then every good thing comes to an end so did our college days. I had many sleepless nights thinking and dreaming of friends. But then I had to accept that merry making days were over and it was time to try on corporate shoes. After laying back in home for more than one month my friends and I decided to seek out for better opportunities in the IT sector. I had realized that I needed to brush up my studies but then engineers really don't study until the clock strikes 12. We had a plan to go to Bangalore and apply in hot shot IT-companies and so that was it, will bags full of hopes and aspirations we boarded the train to Bangalore unaware of the challenges ahead. We were not the only one, like every year students from all across India were getting ready to come down to Bangalore in search of better jobs or for their first job.

Its a great city and nowhere in India one can find such lovely people. People have amazing sense of responsibility and they don't talk shit about others. I think a sense of formalism drives them. It maybe the formal behaviour which they take up in the corporate world but forget to take off when they leave office. I had a very strange experience in one restaurant. I have a great appetite for South Indian food and love to have it.

So I was in a restaurant where I had ordered sambhar idly. Since there was self service so I had to carry the hot sambhar dipped idlies on my own. I made my way through few people carefully but accidently I tilted my plate a little to the left and the hot sambhar came all over the pants of a man. I had not noticed what happened but then felt someone holding my hand. I turned back to see the man standing in wet trousers with sambhar spread all over it. I immediately begged sorry from him, instead of shouting at me, the man smiled at me and asked me to be careful. I felt sorry for him and prayed that everything goes well with him. If I was in another part of India I might have got a loud thrashing or even could have got beaten up.

The city is beautiful but at the same time is very costly and expensive. All of my cost cutting methods failed and in-spite of trying hard I still had to shell out a great amount of money daily in order to get my basic needs fulfilled. The main reason for the city being so expensive is the life style of the people. Most of them work in IT companies that provides good salary to its employees. Since everyone has money to buy things therefore price automatically climbs the ladder. Simple demand and supply graph which I remember from my college lectures. Thank you S.R.C sir for the wonderful lectures.

People are very busy in their own life and are very much occupied in their work. They hardly find time to have a normal life schedule. But then, it is the work hard and party harder concept which most of the people have incorporated them in their lives.
Getting ahead in career is all that people care for. It is definitely a proving ground for people with talents in all domains.



I realized a thing after coming down to Bangalore, either you have to have a great luck or you have to be a hard working donkey in order to be successful here. It's true that Bangalore is a place filled with opportunities but then you have to smart enough to identify it and map it according to your talents and skills. You can go on for an endless job hunt killing small rabbits here and there or you can be the patient tigress which after endless wait and perseverance makes a great kill. Well I took me time to understand what I really wanted from my life. I started off my wild hunt for job like a rookie and wanted to conquer each and every opportunity that passed by. I was successful in all my ventures but then never thought of committing myself to a particular company. I got selected in many of them but then tossed the offers as if they were of no use to me. I guess it was my inability to decide, that I always felt myself into a dilemma whenever I got an offer from a company and used to seek advice from people who never existed before in my life.

I guess it was the time I needed a bitter lesson and I got it in a style. I guess I was occupied in this company for nearly two weeks. I had made up my mind a long ago about not joining this company but then how could I have let the opportunity pass by.  I had an aptitude test, 3 rounds of interviews, a written test and finally an interview at the company premises. After all this I finally got the offer from the company and then I communicated to the HR that I wasn't interested in the offer. They were shocked to hear this and asked me about the reason of not joining the company. I gave them a lame excuse that I wasn't much aware of the position being offered by the company before and therefore I need to opt out.

The HR personnel was so infuriated that she blasted on me. She made me realize my mistake, that because of me there were other deserving candidates who failed to get the opportunity to get the first job. If I would have  opted out earlier then a student in greater need of job could have attained it. I came to know that there was something terribly wrong in me and I had to have a solution for it first. I made up my mind that I would not go for wild hunt and narrowed my goals and made my aim very specific. I had to channelize my efforts into proper direction and had to focus. It was a tough time for me to let opportunities pass by but then as we say that there is always a time for everything.

I am still waiting in the same small 10x8 room of mine with patience. Sometimes I get frustrated and feel things are not working accordingly. Mean while one of my friend who came along with me to Bangalore got a great job at Unisys. He has joined the company and is doing great. I was happy for him and at the same time realized that sunrise is just nearby. We must remember that "the darker the night the closer it is to dawn". People do make mistakes in their life and its obvious, but then one should learn from them. As I say Life is to stumble and get up!!!